Bitter Girls Anthem 2010

Marsha Ambrosius' (formerly from Floetry) song "I hope she cheats on you (With a basketball player) is the new Bitter Girls Anthem for 2010. Taking the place of former anthem "I bust your windows out your car" by Jasmine Sullivan.

Message About Soul Mates!

I just heard something interesting! My daughter was reading an excerpt from Eat, Pray, Love  concerning soul mates. I tuned in intensely being that I felt as if I had found and lost mines recently. The woman in the book was in almost the same situation I found myself in since she was grieving over the loss of someone she considered to be her soul mate. One of her male friends in the book began explaining to her the deep meaning behind soul mates from what he had learned. He stated something like:

"Your soul mate is someone who comes into you life and holds a mirror to your face. They show you all the potential and bad habits that you possess. Their job is to inform you on who YOU really are. Then they move on! They are not meant to stay in your life but to show you your life!"

^^^^^^DEEP^^^^^

So...to my soul mate (if your reading this), THANK YOU SO MUCH! You have been my best friend and muse. I once mourned your presence, now I rejoice in your memory. You are and will always be special to me because what we shared, was bigger than both of us. I hope that I shed some light into your life as you have done mines.

I will never forget you! *muah*

Dying Breed.

Some could care less
That I'm blessed
That my self esteem make me 3 times better than most
& the rest keeps my head doped 'cause they just keep floating my boat
My tolerance for bull shit is low That's why I stay on my cock pit flow
I stay high...off life
Filling his head with gas from my windpipe.
It's leaded & lethal
He couldn't get it, he was see-thru
Or transparent
But what was apparent
Left him n the dark.
'Cause he was known for flipping hearts
But he couldn't budge mines
So he was confused & intertwined
He had perfected leaving others in masked misery
But when he met me his past became his history
His legacy broken
The word he was gonna spit to me became unspoken
'Cause they no longer had value
& he would sit 4 hours tryna figure out just how his charm could flank me
But every time we had a convo all he was able to do was thank me.
4 allowing him 2 bask in my presence.
Said I made him feel more than alive...somewhat effervescent.
But his old ways began to creep out & try & infiltrate my heart!
He wasn't as clever as me
& his endeavors
Never severed me
From my logic
I recognized his politics
& his campaign wasn't winning
It tormented him, made him go crazy
Drove him insane like daisy
& the death of his game started pushing daisies up
Then he began to figure it wasn't a detriment, he was in luck
He had met his match
He caught his catch
A soul mate
He cud prorate
& he began to beam with pride
The Cheshire cat who caught the mouse n the rye
So systematically
He began dramatically
Changing & his mind kept elevated
To the 26th floor
There he cud explore
A new level of meaning
Atoned! He was through with all the scheming
& began to call me queen
& curse the material things
& he held his fist n the air
& twisted his dreads wit care
As he became conscious
He developed a new logic
That helped him lead
The success of a lost one whose now a dying breed

Why is my ass the topic of argument???....Really?

**Me standing in line in a crowded room**

A girl and her male companion come behind me in line

Girl yells as loudly as possible "I KNOW YOU NOT LOOKING AT THIS B!TCH ASS IN FRONT OF ME!!" **Everyone in room looks in her direction**

Guy: **speaking softly** "Man! Chill out! You know what it is!"

Loud Girl: "YEAH YOU RIGHT! I KNOW WHAT IT IS, BUT DON'T BE AT MY HOUSE TRYNA ACT LIKE IT'S ONE WAY AND WHEN WE GET OUT IN PUBLIC IT'S SOMETHING ELSE!!!

Me: **Thinking** "I hope it's not my ass he is looking at! It's a million girls in this room. Why mines?"

Guy: "Calm down!"

Loud Girl: "DON'T TELL ME TO CALM DOWN! HEY, I LIKE GUYS AND GIRLS SO I'LL LOOK TOO, BUT YOU ARE SOOOO DISRESPECTFUL!"

Guy: **positions himself behind woman to give her a hug from the back as a show of his affection for her**

Loud Girl: "NAH, NAH NICCA." **She feels something** "WHAT!....AND YOU HARD FROM LOOKING AT HER!!! **pushes guy off** "ARE YOU SERIOUSLY TRYNA HUG ME AND YOU HARD FROM LOOKING AT THIS OTHER CHICK?? NAH, NAH, YOU GOT ME MESSED UP!"

Me: **thinking** "Is this really happening? This type of stuff happens to ONLY me!"

Loud Girl: "YOU KNOW WHAT NICCA! YOU AINT NEVER GAVE ME NOTHING BUT A HEADACHE!! HERE, TAKE THIS DOLLAR AND CATCH THE BUS HOME! MUTHA F#CKA!" **Hands guy a dollar**

Guy: **Takes dollar and leaves**

Me: **laughing to myself at how "ghetto" the whole scenario is.

Loud Girl: **mumbling to self** "I hate disrespectful mutha f#ckas!" "He gone come with me and be looking at another b!tch!

Me: **I finally reach the counter to take care of my business tripping about the fiasco i just witnessed!** WOW

Excuse Me Bruh!.....My Man Get's Deep!

Please understand that I cannot entertain your requests of my time!

My heart has been promised to a brother who is skilled in rhyme...and verse,

but first, let me tell you a little something bout me.

I need a man of SUBSTANCE! His thinking... can't just be... elementary.

And Bullshit!....Oops...Pardon my French Class cuz I was given a hall pass and was excused. 

But back to my views, on hip-hop and men.

Your diamonds lack brilliance when your mind doesn't shine! 

So... You can keep spitting rhymes about your fortune.

and let the whole world know how your brain had a knowledge abortion

But I'm not phased

cuz I'm reminded of days where we had to fight for the right to learn

Now, your ignorance is as degrading as that cross they burned

So excuse me PLEASE...

Make way for real Emcees 

Who don't make up dances to thwart your attention from their words

(Cuz they are not talking about sh!t)

I don't know who worse the dancers or the ones that talk illiterate!!

and this is who our kids look up to??

Nah, move around playa

You not deep enough for me

Nah, I'm not tryna cope any of your CD's 

Your hooks are catchy but that aint enough to camouflage your flow

and if I hear any more auto tune!!! I may just snap

cuz I'm tired of some of this lame rap!!

My Fav! Lupe Fiasco!

LOL! My off-the-top-of-my-head ramblings!

Lessons From the Moon

As I was driving two of my children to their martial arts class I was overwhelmed by the elusive nature of the moon as it seemingly hid behind clouds in a guileless game of hide-and-seek! The moon would peek at me, every now and then, as it snuggled into the cloud design of the blue comforter that it used as camouflage. I saw it peeking. Pretending not to notice I let the moon think it outwitted me until I bored and said in my sweet nurturing voice "I see you" then in my childlike voice "TAG YOUR IT!" It was then that the moon gave up the charade and revealed itself...fully.

My children, who knew how sporadic and fun loving I could be, did not even flinch at watching me play tag with moon. Instead, they began to take interest also. My 14-year-old daughter spoke

"Mom, did you know today is the Autumn Equinox?" 

I didn't.

My 17 year old son added "Isn't it amazing that all historic civilizations that have every lived like Mesopotamian, Babylonian and Egyptians have all looked upon the very same moon that we are looking at right now?"

Wow! I hadn't thought of that!

Once my kids had gone to class I took a moment to spend with the moon, one-on-one. I thought about the words of my children Autumn Equinox & historic civilizations. I began to feel at peace as the worries & concerns I had felt prior to that moment began to wash away as if the lesson were epiphanies to my soul! I felt somehow complete. I had let other people's feelings somehow dictate mines. I lived in the belly of the self-pity that had swallowed me months earlier.

This self-realization lectured my soul. I began to ponder on how minute my problems were and how the Autumn Equinox meant a changing of the seasons. IT WAS TIME!! Time for me to let things from the old season die off like the leaves of trees would soon after the changing of colors. Also, I would hold truth that, just as the moon, the energy inside me was brilliant & eternal. Much too special to spend concerned on if another mere mortal favored me! Priceless... was too weak of a word to define this new understanding since it defines monetary concerns. This feeling... was spiritual!       

I am so excited to share this new phase of my life! I will still discuss some old topics just as a measuring tool because you can't understand where you’re at until you know where you've been!

So... HAPPY AUTUMN EQUINOX beloved friends & family!

Being THIRSTY can lead to a whole lot of TROUBLE!

DAMNNN!

I just witnessed an interesting scenario while at the gas station. There was a woman (very attractive) at the coffee station (making her a cappuccino or mocha…whatever). This guy was hanging around the back of the cashier’s station as if he knew one of the cashiers and had nothing better to do than lean against her “Cashier’s Cubicle” and talk to her. I noticed this guy as I was at the ICEE machine making a large $1.00 ICEE (They are such a VALUE!! Almost as good as the large fountain drinks at McDonalds for $1.00!!! DEAL!!!) . Anyway, like I was saying I noticed this guy and thought to myself either he needs to get a life (because REALLY who hangs around at gas stations? Come on now!) or he was a bit THIRSTY….*Pause Right Here*

(For all of those who have never heard this Urban/Slang word used in this manner before click on the word THIRSTY for a proper definition.)

Back to story

Or he was a bit Thirsty and was trying to get with the cashier girl.  The guy’s attention suddenly changed from the cashier girl to the cappuccino-making lady. He looked up her up and down as her back was turned to him while she added the appropriate syrups to her coffee.

Now mind you, at this point I am in line sneaking a few sips of the ICEE (since I hadn’t paid for it yet I wondered if that was considered stealing!) when this guy comes into the gas station looking and smelling good. I politely put on my cute~girl~face (HEY! I’m single!! And don’t call me THIRSTY either!! LOL!). Suddenly the guy stops behind me “Yeah, he’s probably digging me.” I think.  LOL! I soon realize that it is not me who has his attention but the guy leaning against the “Cashier cubicle” with his gaze glued to the cappuccino-making lady. All I heard was,

"AYE MAN, KEEP LOOKING AT MY WIFE LIKE THAT AND YOU AINT GO HAVE NO EYES PLAYA!"

WHOA!!!! **the record stops** as superglue eyes finds a way to break his stare and turns and states to the husband

“Huh?”

“I SAID THAT’S MY WIFE!”

“Oh her, I wasn’t looking at her.”

“ALRIGHT!”

Husband then proceeds to walk to the soda area and I walk out of the gas station sipping my ICEE (legally now!) saying to myself DAMNNNN!!!

Emotion Noodle Soup

My heart felt chopped

The memories of past loves stirred in my head

I was swimming in the broth of emotional overload

And all the feelings I felt was hard to control

Faces…were beginning to fade…in my mind

And the ones I could picture I couldn’t place the names to

The letters were all scrambled like alphabet soup

I felt as if I had poured every ounce of me into others

And my glass was empty…I had nothing…left

I peered into the container that stored my soul…Fragile…Translucent…Empty

I started reading “Chicken Soup for the Soul”

As every part of me became ingredients in a swirling

Pot of emotionally confused gumbo

Poles apart I was

Under-loved & overzealous

My soul was simultaneously

Uplifted & Downtrodden

My vision was…Vague yet focused

X marks the spot, over my heart

Where treasures live…undiscovered

(or to cleverly hidden)

Unforbidden!!!  ‘Cause not many have ventured

Is the soup done yet?

Aww Man! This batch is too cold?

But different than the last one I threw out cause it was too old?

So, I gather all the pieces of me back

When it’s time for me to invest my time,

My effort in another worthwhile batch of soup

I will have all that it takes

But for now,

I must allow time to become full…again

Nicole “Emoshen” McKinley

~RealationSoup~