The Nuclear Family added to the Endangered Species list

I have just received a bulletin from the Endangered Species Committee that states that a new "Animal" has been added to their list.

The Nuclear Family

Coming from a nuclear family structure, in which all nine of the children were raised in the house with our biological parents, shared the same last name, and didn't have any half-brothers or sisters, this was the environment I was use to. It would seem that I should have become a product of my traditional environment, right?

Hmmm.... Well, It DIDN'T HAPPEN!!!

My household has three different last names (I shudder whenever I think about that!), three out of four of my children have the same dad (the last one is by a different man!), and I currently find myself 30 something and never married!!! Where did I go wrong?

Out of my eight siblings, I am the youngest and the only one who has NEVER been married (one of my brothers had his Single's Club Card revoked in Sept 2009). Not only am I the only person to never exchange nuptial vows in my family, but most of the women I know are EXACTLY LIKE ME!!! Crazy thing is, we are all 30 something, never married, kids by a man/men we are no longer with and confused!

Yes I said it CONFUSED!! The one thing that we don't want to admit but it always has an eerie way of slithering up our spine, entering our ear canal and embedding itself into our brains. Which causes us to turn to each other for support, guidance, and just to plain old vent about how STUPID the current brother we're dating was for not recognizing the treasure that laid before him. We have become a tribe of loveless-heard-it-all-been-through-that-before-if-it-don't-fit-don't-force-it restless natives. Wandering in our own wilderness of club scenes, restaurants, movies, walks through the parks, and "Un-huh, yes I'm listening" conversations trying to decipher the code for bullshit.

We come with play-books and reference cards. Voices in our heads scream to us "GIRL, DIP LEFT BEFORE YOU GET TACKLED!" In our dating arena, the team is missing one of the key players but he has to fit perfectly within the coexisting team. There is no reformation or trades that can be made at this stage in the game, and we're aiming for the CHAMPIONSHIP! We want the ring, bragging rights, and the glory!  We are ready to sing to the losers "Nah Nah Naaa Nah, Nah Nah Naa Nah, Hey Hey Hey, Goodbye!" as we watch their sorrowful faces indicative of the epiphany that just received due to the loss of "The one that got away!" Hey! Beyonce said it best "If you liked it...you should have put a ring on it!!!" Don't cry now!

But, truth is... Prince Charming never arrives on his trusty white Porsche and if he does, his goals are not aligned with our goals (at that time), or he's unwilling to deal with the tainted person we have become through experience. Better yet, he is too fresh out of a previous situation and not ready for another one. He just wants to be "Friends"! You know, the kind with benefits.

As I look at my parent's 60-years of marriage I smile. It took a lot of dedication on their part to maintain a union for 6 decades. Sometimes I wonder if I took the easy route out of Dodge County and gave up too easily. When the going got tough should I have gotten tougher?  Maybe my husband is right before my eyes, yet i fail to recognize him or I'm afraid of putting my all into another situation that will leave me scarred and bruised if it doesn't work out! Am I expecting the worse to happen so often that it does? Is that one little thing he does that irritates me always a deal-breaker?

"If you always do what you've always done then you will get the same results!" is a line that I hear frequently! also "Insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results!". Well, where is my STRAIGHT JACKET!  Maybe it's time to do something differently! Women of the world who find themselves in this same place in their lives, I challenge you to do something DIFFERENT!!  I will do the same and maybe, just maybe, even though we are past the nuclear family stage, we will be blessed with the BLENDED FAMILY of our dreams!!

Take Care Beloved!